I hate the showbiz

..but I miss it.

Played with the Fake Tapes again today - it surely is not what it used to be, but I love the freedom I have playing synth and not drums or, basically, anything else. I have enough time to just dance around and write down everything that comes to my mind. Adam seems pretty enthusiastic about me guesting, while I don't remember when i've got to play on stage for the last time, so I am kinda ... happy... about all this, too.

Um.. nothing else to say. I'll back off to my dark chambers and study. Or I will act I am doing so.

Andrzej pissed me off, but I guess it is partly my fault. Which makes it less sad, at least .P

He sounds like Chris Corner on the Splinter album.

Art update.

Made these WPs for the Fake Tapes. First one is just kinda using the web site scheme, while the other one is taking the first and warping it into some kind of emo rubbish. Feel free to download.

Just like superhero

I kinda *hate* the guy taking pics at Bordo. Or maybe it's just me and I should back off to the back lines. Or wear black (over my face, too). Cause the pics of other ppl he takes aren't bad.

Just like this (sex on two legs) (is it only me or that weird moves bassist do with their right hand fingers turn on some other people, too?) (Just... let your imagination take the instrument away, let the motion, and... aaaw)


obviously very very lost in all kinds of evil ideas about Road Side Mary (which results in this evil picture):


And I was singing Every me, every you w/ Fake Tapes. That was even more evil, I cried all the way to the last strum.

Oh, that was pretty quick.

They've actually begun seeking new drummer before I've had said I'm quitting.
That's kinda jolly.

Cannot really say I feel fine, omnipresent breakup feeling, that popular ambivalence I'm so alone-I'm so free, stalks me.

supermarket jesus comes with smiles and lies.

It does not have to be so good when things become great every time.

I don't think I am getting over it this time.

when the joys of living just leave you cold
frozen from the failing mess you made your own

I feel pretty messed up - first I thought leaving the band would take my meaning away, but now, as the school started, I would pretty much appreciate some extra time for all the seminary works and maturitas and university exams, duh.
But wasting time with people who just don't see any of your effort useful, sadly, that makes you feel awful. It just doesn't work out.

if i have to switch the lights off
i wanna switch them off with you

Yep.

You've put me together
I can see now
the sun shines
through the trees
shines down
through the ice
it's ll your work
it's all your fault
these are my thanks
to you
my BRIGHTSIDE

My hands are warm
in your coat
they rest on your heart
my BRIGHTSIDE
-fragments of the "Brightside" lyrics sketch

Unfinished. Awful (cause romantic = awful). No need to make it complicated. 1)nobody listens to the lyrics anyway 2)this is what I want to say.
The rehearsal was cool.

The show must go on. I guess.

So. The Last BC gig yesterday. I am dead. And, what is worse, I was half dead on the stage already. I think I played well, like not so many technical mistakes, I even did not destroy the pedal (thank you, drummer of Evelynne - you've been especially lucky lad yesterday), but honestly, I just DID NOT ENJOY. Well, happens. But it's good to know it was just my physical state which screwd it up for me.

I am growing a custom on Evelynne, kind of, which scares me. But I have to admit I really like their bass player. Cuz he's one of the musicians who even TALK to me. Amazes me. Whoa.

So, let's end this Big Cheese agony and let the era of THE FAKE TAPES begin!!!

Aaaw...

Tonight I had the sweetest dream about being in an army division that had Carl Barat and Pete Doherty as commanders.
Carl was particularly cute and so very not like him in real at all I guess. Probably some young, idealistic Carl.
I feel like whoring around "Carl Barat's toffees" on youtube once again.

Anyways, today is Big Cheese's last gig, so show up, especially if you hate the whole idea of a bandname change. Starts at 20:00 at Bluesrock club.

I am starting to get overexcited by the London trip.