I can't stop this feeling I've got

I was thinking about people's minds. I was thinking about how wrong it i to say that someone' "slower" or "weird", because they just think different and they probably have similarly negative feelings about how do YOU behave, talk and think, right. Oh this sounds so moral-lecture-ish and I don't want it to do so.
It's just that I don't know many people who think the way I do, thus I feel comfortable around them. Not enough friends, lovers.

Yesterday I practiced some waltz steps with mr.Růžička and, yup, nice guess, he's just totally on the other side of the way-of-thinking spectre. He's nice, gorgeous, wears slime-green shirts and his perfume is just aaaaw. But not getting my jokes is just an unbearable problem when it comes to anything above the line of platonic love. Which means sex and marriage, basically. lol.

I would appreciate some affection. Crying over my mind-mate ex is depressive. I want Karin to come back. And things.

Pros and Cons

+ yesterday's AlejFest was probably the best of all.
- I played just one song.
+ did not screw it up though
- mr. Růžička didn't come to see me playing
+ but he came to the fest, at least!
- to assure me he's not worth the effort
+ but I've met one guy who reminded me of Destroyer
- didn't pay any attention to me
+ until he asked me if I want to play with his band
- which means NO to all emotional or sexual business between the two of us.

Just three things to tell you guys

1) Chippendales rocked! These boys surely know how to make a show, so in the end they are pretty much like the Prostitutes, just more naked. (I would prefer the reversed state so much more)

2)I am probably playing with Park rock again. For you not familiar, Park Rock was my first band ever. Plus, I am playing with Park Rock TOMORROW. So anyone who wishes to point and laugh please come. Cca at 20:00 on the small stage at AlejFest vol III (best event EVAH) , Mlejn.

3)I have a ball dress. Red one. Noone will resist.

I try to give give an ocean directions

(with the best of intentions)

Guess what.
Am off to the IAMX gig.
And talked to mr.R t'day.
And he asked if i could give him some private lessons.
Of ballroom dance.

He realized that it might have sounded weird, so he said he'll think the whole ball dance business over during the weekend.

The phone lives (btw the first k750i's name was mr.Richards. 2nd one was mr.Spider. This one i mr.Loser.) , but cannot read the memory card. Guess I will have to make my mp3 player work again instead.

I'm not coming out until this is all OVER!!!

Obviously I wasn't ok with just losing one phone, so i've trown the new one to the toilet.

Just tell me - does this happen to anyone else or am I just made to end up in a travelling freak show? The magical misfortune girl.

I cannot say I am pissed or sad or anything though.
I talked to mr. Růžička. Went for a palm-palm physical contact. Found out he has blue eyes. And STYLE.

Que malo!

I don't remember such a self-destructive behaviour since I was in 9th grade of elementary.

Mostly cause this type of night doesn't leave much memories.

So, it started as a moderately jolly evening at Roxy and ended 6 am at casino with some weird slovakians, where I've lost my phone, because anything more I could lose I had lost at the previous drinking destination (illusions, sympathies, dignity)
I have already had a buiness call from IR.cz Marty, who just HAD TO tell me how much work for them I have to finish.

("Does any of the things require me dealing with Dan?" "Oh, nope, I bet you two would end up having sex instead"......... the thing that pissed me the most! Like if Dan would ever leave his "no I can't" attitude. Jeez)

Music when the lights go out

I feel... well, let's just say I'm not at my best.
I hate music showbusiness even in its lowest form (that's the one I'm in contact with, generally). Since I am no longer an active musician and I don't see it coming in a looong time, it has just lost a big part of attractiveness it had for me. The worse thing is this ruins my personal life... you see... I am not really excited about hearing of my ex-band and pretty much anything that has something to do with it, on the other hand am not very sure if all I say is interesting for the other side.
I wish Karin or me were a guy.

And on top of it all I didn't get the Road Side Mary promos I've requested for my artwork, nobody wrote me a single letter back for my friday night report and I am probably getting no proper evening dress for our maturita ball, cause they're so fu**ing expensive. I can't risk having some improperly done one, to avoid even the tiniest faux-pas during waltz with mr. Růžička. Of whom I've dreamt tonight - we were at some kind of country trip... on running skis.... but the important fact was... he had his BOYFRIEND with him. Oh please no more dreams like that, please, please.