Bernard, in person /part II/

I am almost as hateful as Bernard. Today I've heard someone /ok, Karin/ talk about somebody else /ok, THE BARON - that's a code word, stupid/, but she didn't use the code word, so I had to show my incredible Hulk impersonation with a chair, fortunately I didn't choose her as the target of my wrath, I just smashed the desk few times.

Most of the time I act like the one being neutral, telling people that hating others brings nothing but problems. But, well, we're just people. Let's hate each other. Ooooh perfectly natural.

/ffuuuuuuckiiiing aaaaasshoooooooooooole!!!!!!/

I have to.... damage... something... now.

Bernard, in person

Do you recall the first episode of Black Books? Bernard's escaping from doing taxes?

That's me, right now. And the work I have to do is certainly NOT THAT BAD, but my brain will just force me into any other activity to avoid doing that newspaper homework and formal letter for english lesson. eeew I hate being formal.

So far I managed to do these /instead of the ones mentioned before/:

• Flipped through a cooking magazine, thinking of what dishes will I make for Nick when I am his wife.
• Learnt a new Kaiser Chiefs song on my telecaster... love's not a competition (but I'm winning) Cool one.
• Checked my phone x times to see if Richard writes.
  
• Read all the clever stuff on my dream universities' sites.
• Spent hell of a time on korean dress-up games online.
  
• Watched all my fav vids on Youtube.
• Tried to get one fan of ours, I mean a female fan, but if she really is our fan, she should take basically any member of the band, or she sucks and goes only for fame.
  
• Pretended tomorrow's saturday.
  
• Sang the whole Meds album by Placebo.
  

Sexual Identity Disorder!

What am I? What the hell am I? Some kind of gay lad trapped in a woman's body? If so, I am pretty fucked, for how will I get out? Omg omg!
But for the case, I really have to think of a guy's name I could use.

I really should use a name which refers to someone I respect. Like Richmond. Or Noel. Nick. I won't use Richard, for it would be kinda confusing. Roger, Simon? Carl? Aaaw. Or Pete, why not, he's been always the more gifted one anyways.

I can't decide.

Moving Pictures

Ooooh yesss, I've been waiting for this Kaisers' music vids review for real long. I've downloaded them all except the last one, Everything is Average Nowadays, for some reason it was not available on any of my download applications, but at least I watched it on YouTube. I am so very lazy and worth your despect that I have not even linked the vids from here. So you better find it yourselves and watch it, bastards, or Kaisers will never come to Czech Rep waaaaah XD

Now to the point - 5 stars is maximum, but I would honour very little number of vids with it, see how strict I am?

I Predict a Riot - **1/2* - Not bad for a start, but I think the song deserves a video that's more fun than this. The lyrics are talking about "Girls running around with no clothes on" - I don't see that there, what a disappointment! Though such a pillowfight with Mr.Hodgson looks like a good way to spend lonely night in London city.

Every Day I Love You Less and Less - **** - Oh that's a difference now! One of the best, this vid is just fun to see again and again. Every single Chief absolutely hot, gorgeous and shaggable /and Ricky's bit emo with that eyeliner, but seriously worth daydreaming/. It fits the song perfectly, has the same sort of silliness. Skeletal sex, mostly.

Na Na Na Na Naa - *** - For a one from this "live" sorta music videos, it's pretty enjoyable, especially footage of Kaisers doing all kinds of silliness'. I liked it more than I Predict a Riot, but still, don't have to watch it every day. On the other hand, it goes good with the crazily happy sound of the song, you know, to show the band has as many fun and fame and fans as they surely deserve.

Modern Way - **** - I appreciate when a band /or the director, maybe/ realizes that looking at the chaps playing gets boring after some time. This vid has both story and a part where you see Kaisers play, which results in a nice harmony. I like the tennis ball idea quite a lot. It's kinda....... moving. Ahem. It really is.

Oh My God - ****1/2* - The highest score in this list! OMG is in the first place insanely catchy song, at least after some time it is. If I ever wanted a music vid, it would look like this. Costumes, exotic settings, fun facial expressions .D all band members get their space to prove their sense of humour. Sexual tension between Ricky and Nick /you can't deny it - just wait for the arctic sequence/. Nick in the "bohemians of Paris" part looks SO MUCH like Richard, wearing that turtleneck and READING. That makes me jiggle.

Ruby - ***1/2 - Has some invention, but in this case I am not THAT sure that pictures suit the tunes. Anyways, it's kinda fun after you accept the fact the vid has just nothing to do with the song. They are all a bit older so they are not such eye candies as they used to be, but they're still whole lotta lovable, especially Nick. Who, basically, looks the same he looked years ago. Miracle.

Everything is Average Nowadays - *** - Great song, but watching the vid just horribly reminded me of Ruby - I mean, especially the beginning is kinda... the same. You can clearly see it was made in the same graphic studio on the same 3D engine. But just as Ruby, it's not entirely idea-less, so I can't be mean and give it only 2 stars, even if it tempts me.

Just got home

Never knew that all it takes to avoid night tram and decrease the time of the Vypich-My Home travel from one hour to ten minutes is a minimalistic top and few times lighter shade of hair. Samaritan taxi drivers are just everywhere.

Anyways, tonight's maturita party was pretty fun, but I enjoyed the time spent with Karin before it even more. We had wine, we had a storm going on in the distance to watch, oh, that definitely was romantic. Later on the party I had to meet Adam /well, I don't want you to think I really care now. Why worry when all hopes are lost, basically. I don't have to think about it all the time at least/, PrAndy /Don't like him, he's kinda rude, even though pretty hot and what the fuck am I writing?!/, Mik /sniffing tobacco ruuuleees/, Monica /people in long-term relationships are basically prisoners/, Shippy /on his way home, dammit/ and Kolombo /who danced with me several times, even during A Perfect Day - which IS a cheek to cheek song. But it probably was not very *sexy*, for I was all sweaty and tired by the time. And felt like I am taller than him, which I hope is not true. At least the gals from sexta have more gossip topics/

Now I will throw my clothes OFF, FALL into my bed and watch Black Books. Bah.

True Colours

Yes. I don't wanna be black-haired avantgarde loving rebel or intellectual brunette, not even the hot blonde, I wanna be the one I have always been. Red-head bohemian. Recently I've been behaving rather red-headed, and yes, I am talking about sex in the first place, so I thought maybe I should stop all this disguise and become a ginger kid again. Yes, with pale skin and freckles. It's the summer coming!

I like my reflection once again. Oh, thanks god for chemistry, thanks chemistry for dyes.

The instant favorites

I will just mention some vids I added to my YouTube favlist recently, for I WANT YOU to see them. Although none of you is probably going to enjoy any of them. Whatever.

Everything is Average Nowadays - acoustic - you will find acoustic "Ruby" somewhere on the site, too, but EIAN is a better one to show how fun Nick's backing vocals are /"Oooh-la-la-oh-oh"/

Kaiser Chiefs on Popworld - yeah, especially the ending totally got me. Btw. Simon Amstell is my favourite presenter. Because Russel Brand is too hairy.

Pete pretending to be Carl - silly yet classical. Probably not for people who don't realize Carl's awful /sexy/ way of speaking. I just don't understand a word coming from his mouth.

NME moments - I mentioned this one already - probably the vid that made me think Ricky Wilson is great. Kaiser Chiefs music vids made me think he is hot. Anyways, these cut-outs are /mostly/ brilliant - "Razorlight, the only band that can still stand!" and the legendary "I always get Sadie Frost!!!"

Sweetest Downfalls

I guess it's true that the more down you feel at one moment, the more intense the highness will be afterwards.

I want the new Q issue. It's on sale from June 1st, the day of my mathematical apocalypse. They give a CD with it. Not with the math exam. With the mag.

I gave Regina Spektor one more chance and it shows like a good idea.

Watching Black Books all day. Mostly because I fell for that guy playing Manny while watching Never Mind the Buzzcocks. Only he's like.. ten years younger in Black Books XD no, I did not, but he's hilarious. Talking bout Never Mind the Buzzcocks, I'd love to link first part of my fav. episode /featuring Nick Hodgson/here. Wanking peanut butter, discussing how cool were the boybands and the scary wannabe mr. Waller. You have to watch all the parts, it is worth it! At least Nick looks great. Ahem.

Are You a Hypnotist?

So. Went to Richard's place. Broke my phone. Could not ring him when I arrived. Tried to climb over the fence of his house. Could not remember what colour are his curtains. Threw rocks at other people's windows. Until, not involving any other rocks, he just looked of the window to find me on his backyard with fistful of little things I intended to damage his neighbours' windows with.

Reminded me of that story about me calling Robin from the non-stop news kiosk on Dejvická, only this one had a better ending and I wasn't drunk. Or, I wasn't at that very moment, I got a bit tipsy through the night.
Oh. It was a nice night.
It's just that.... we never get relaxed with the other one around. I am stressed because I have problems with finding the right topics, which would not sound too childish or wouldn't be obviously made up just to sound intellectual. And he seems a bit shy. And fragile, in a way. He's my little personal Nick Hodgson, only more into literature and less into music. It's fun, kind of, but we'll never be more than a pair of fuck buddies.
Let's all suck.

The more I get to know other guys the more I'm afraid some feelings will never be got over. The comparison always results in belief that there's just no other.
Let the clocks be reset and the pendulums held.

Aaaaaw.... I wish

Today I dreamt of playing onstage with Strokes. Or, not at the same time, but we played at the same gig. I can remember staring at Jules quite well, and how I told Adam /of BC/ to go and tell him, that I love him and want his autograph /how very 6th grade-ish/, and he sent me little note back, telling me how much he enjoys the evening and blah blah blah and I think he didn't even actually sign it. But I know they were playing Reptilia in the end of their set.

Why can't I dream about Kaiser Chiefs? Why do I dream about the Strokes? Why do I dream about Adam instead of Richard? I hate brains.

Try your best - they say...

But even if I try my best, I can still feel kinda crappy. It's probably things others say and things others do, things I am not able to get and mirrors that make me wanna die right now, but I believe it's nothing long-termed and once, probably a year from now, when I will no longer have to see and hear some certain people, it's gonna get better and brighter and more fun. Right now... everything sucks.

Let's fight the spleen with this picture of Daniel Opat. And stopping listening to The Flaming Lips. They get me down, even though it is so beautiful.

Thanks god for the Urban Dictionary

Aside from being rather practical when it comes to translating some weird and sexual jokes from Never mind the buzzcocks, Urban Dictionary can provide you with random terms that are both surprising and obvious, u know, that kind of things you have to comment "Yes, that's exactly what it sounds like although I would never think of that myself"

E.G.

indie sex: 1. independet sex, also known as masturbation


that's so electric .D

I'm no Doherty

..but I still can write some averagely good lyrics.

I am kinda proud of these

Just like superheroes

Oh do you remember the glorious days

Wherever the fuck you are now

When we would wear leggings and look like gays

But back then we were ordinary superheroes

Back then we did not know impossible

Or forbidden or dangerous

We flew from roof to roof and from second floors

And we felt just like superheroes.

These cloaks we’ve made of your sister’s dress

Where are they now, can anybody guess?

I would go through your house’s bins

Just to find them and remember where we used to be

As the years go by I am scared more and more

Am I going to loose my powers, are you sure?

What was the thing, about you and me

That made us feel just like superheroes?

(I feel creepy inside I have no will to fly

I can’t stand what I used to stand anymore

Instead of fighting the evil I sit down and cry

Do you know I am in such a sore?) /this one will not be used in the song/

/refs?/

Where are the cloaks and where are the boys

The lads, the chaps with high pitched voice

The trees we robbed the walnuts from

On which we sat, oh so troublesome

Where are the gloves and where are the boys

When we split up, was it really our choice?

Was it the supervillain and the goblins of his

Or mum when found out we ruined dress of your sis?

Where are the masks and where are the boys

Where are the nights filled with emergency noise

Our secret plans and signs and language we’ve made up

The poison we’ve mixed of soda and vinegar in a plastic cup?

Por QUEEE?

Some things just happen to this ceeeertain types of people... just like... getting the number of the hottie sitting next table.. and being so drunk it all results in not being able to save it.

At least I have a piccy! /not a very good one though. Actually it's rubbish and you'll be happy if you recognise something like *people* on the fullview/

There definitely is lack of chubby lads with dark fringes and big noses in this city. Paraphrasing Art Brut : "I'm considering a move to London".

Oh and now that I've spend whole morning sobbing for this quite unfortunate event, I can go and dream about pulling Nick Hodgson. Yeah.
"Oh Nick oh Nick, that gig was so wonderful but what I've to say's I need you sooo desperately come on come on come on there's a room with a dimmer switch over there!"
"Oh! A dimmer switch! Allright then!"

OHMYGAWDOHMYGAWD

If I have ever said that Adam sucks at photographing, I was so WRONG. He sucks only at photographing me. Because THIS -> changed my mind. FOREVER.


This is a dangerously good depiction of male beauty. And even though I've never ever found this guy attractive. It's the pic. Adam just has to be gay. Or I don't understand anything anymore.

I am wrong, I am wrong, I am wrong, soooo wrong. someone get me a paperbag to stuff my wrong head into .D such freaks should not be allowed to leave houses.

This Adult Living

Oh. Yup. I am eighteen now. I can buy me booze and /which is a surprise for me actually/ I've lost that kid feeling, I mean the bad "kid feeling", the one you have when you argue with older people and they ask you how old are you in the middle and then just smirk at you when you say "sixteen" or even "seventeen", because you're still officially a kid. On the other side "young adults" have this specific kind of respect, especially students who do not look like permanently wasted drug addicts.

I dunno. I should not be so kind to myself anymore. I should be strict. Or at least a little more strict, y'know, no self-harming or any stuff mentioned in the DaVinci Code (even though albinos are pretty), just work a little harder, for you all know that I am a really good material, gifted in so many ways, I feel like I have to make real skills of there talents... and I am unable to date anyone anyways so what's the point of even trying - being single is a great timesaver. I am officially waiting for Nick or Ricky of the Kaiser Chiefs now.

Had a little party last night, having a bigger party tonight and the biggest tomorrow. but the yesterday's one was pretty allright, or would be if Adam didn't had that sour arse expression for the most of the time, really, which he just coronated with things he didn't have to say, but I don't really care, I have problems with saying crap all the time and people hate me just like they hate him.


And now for something not so different.

Post-party pic, when me and Karin went to the Rubin club, where I had a lil gig last night - we kept the party hats, of course. I have to do that more frequently, it's a great attention catcher.


And so down went the pink balloon. Sad.

The Birthday company /or at least the three people who managed to get into this pic/

My purple inflatable boyfriend, named Mayakovskiy by July later in the evening

Karin meeting Adam V. for the first time, I surely do understand her uncertain look.

"I always get Sadie Frost!!"

I always fall for the least available guy, for example Nick Hodgson of the Kaiser Chiefs. I've bought this new Q issue, which has an artincle bout KC inside, with pretty sweet photos too - it has been wrapped in this plastic bag to save the insertions from falling from the mag or into hands of people who are not going to buy it eventually - and on that bag, there's a beeeautiful pic of the KC alltogether, Nick grinning in the very centre to balance how unattractive all other Chiefs are. I've been taking that bag with me all yesterday, staring at it at trams and showing it to my bandmates and classmates, oh what am I, a 13 years old schoolgirl?

But! Try to find the 2005 NME video somewhere on youtube, Ricky /the singer/ is absolutely worth it there, I mean, he has just the british sense of humour I love so much. I guess I am gonna write some little fic... and involve Ricky into it a bit too... ahem.

There's no way I am letting the Arctic Monkeys take over their throne!

Anyone infected?

Is there anybody, who joined The best stuff in the world /.com/? If so, visit this page and VOTE. Or you can edit the categories - e.g. add "the best asshole" or "the best rocker with ridiculous height".

i just HAVE to mention some of the charts here...

The best thing covered in chocolate:
1. Gummy Bears (14 ppl)
2. Emma Watson (3 ppl)
3. Bananas (3 ppl)
4. Usher (1 person)
5. Carl Barat (1 person)

The best alternative to Jesus:

1. Lego porn (19 ppl)
2. Tequila (12 ppl)
3. Kermit (9 ppl)

The best dad:

1. Darth Vader (28 ppl)

Well, that surely went quickly

So, um, after two years I've seen my dad again /looks gorgeous, thanks god for his genes/ and guess what, he just hands me the b-day gift, tells me that he lives in Prague /what the hell?!/ and that I can visit him someday and he would love to see our gig /lies, lies, lies again/ and then he leaves again. I could not look him in the eyes, for it moved me too much. This sucks.

Bilingual again - how obnoxious is that

It's just that I've found this fun comment on Pete Doherty being out of jail on one czech blog, sounded so great that it would get totally killed by any kind of translation.

"tak doherty je zdá se venku. žádných sedm natvrdo se nekoná, jenom rok veřejných prací. bastard jeden. bych chtěl vidět toho soudce, ten měl určitě na čele kérku fuck forever.. no každopádně bych chtěl peeta vidět, jak v tom oranžovým mundůru utírá na trafalgaru holubí hovna."

more to see and read here.

BTW this is my 100th post. Wee.

Of Four Different People

Ty múzo.

Ty múzo, ty protivná múzo z minula,
pořád jsi krásná a stále o tom víš
jak když v náruči s' mi před lety usnula
hned poté, cos řekla pravdu a já celou noc proplakal
protože jsem byl mladý a chtělo se mi.
Rozevíráš nade mnou svůj rudý deštník s květy
a já kývnu, protože prší, stejně jako včera
i tahle noc kropí těžkou černou vodou květy
předloňských šeříků.

Nevidím změnu, ani jednu jedinou
a nedávám ni zbla ti najevo, že bych byl schopen
udělat ty samé chyby s krásnou vidinou
že na tu jednu noc opět spočineme s nohama propletenýma

Dívko z obrazu, ty múzo
překonám sám sebe
a pojedu s tebou jen
JEDNU STANICI
.

O té, co tvrdila, že jsem jí zničil život

Vidím tě, jsi to ty, jsi to ty jak tehdy,
to ty pruhy a unavený pohled
no tak, dělej, já tuším, že přišla
dívka, co mě zbožňovala ač já byl jen prošlapaný led.

Ani slovo nevyjde z mého hrdla,
co když mě nenávidíš, co když miluješ?
Promluv, usměj se, cokoli, vyraž
ke mně a dokaž, že pamatuješ.

Neřekla nic, sklopila hlavu, opřela jí o sedačku
v autobuse
a já zrovna vystupuji, odcházím od ní,
zase.

Zatímco ležím, venku hřmí

Déšť na plechovou střechu a blesky na mé nahé tělo
jen pár minut poté, co jsem s tebou mluvil.
Jako vždy, bránil jsem se, jenže tobě se prostě mluvit chtělo.
Třeba o tom, že se nebojíš bouřky.

Neznám mnoho dívek, které by se nebály,
zato já nemůžu usnout, když nade mnou bliká nebe
nespím, tak myslím na to, jak to asi vyhráli,
ti, co teď podvojmo se mohou brodit kalužemi.

Myšlenky k večeři

Ztratil jsem štěstí už tolikrát,
až mě to naučilo
že je to ta nejvíc kluzká věc na celém světě
ale kdo má dobré oči a hbité sítě
tomu se po něm nikdy dlouho nestýská.

And the turkey went "Gobble gobble gobble"

Gaaawd... cheesecake is such a heavenly substitute for sex. But following the BBQ beef sandwich it makes a killer combo. I wanna die.

Kate's Addiction

Yup. Invited by three guys for a drink/zoo/tea and still sitting at home and being totally addicted to BEST STUFF IN THE WORLD. Lol, yeah, that's the name of the site, but I have to say they are not claiming that THEY are the best stuff. Allright? Check it out. It looks not-so-much-fun in the beginning, but once you got into the zillions of charts, you cannot stop.
Anyways, next time I whine about not having a date, remind me of today, I will shut up.

Yall O.C. lovers: kill me

It's been hell of a long time since I've done some proper photoshop manip and now - here we go. I'm not so much into the O.C., but tomorrow is the Mothers Day and I've been thinking what should I fill the couple frame I bought with, because I thought just pictures would be so not cool. and my Mom loves the O.C., and I kinda like Seth and my sis kinda likes Ryan, so I replaced their gfs' heads with ours and it came out so sweet .D

Caaall me

Listening to Blondie is goodness

But to the point - got a new cellphone so I keep taking pics of everyone around, and what a miracle, even though the camera is actually kinda crappy, I am still able to take better pics than Adam! People without visual sense should never put their lame hands on anything, that will probably sooner or later spoil someone's career /put the pictures down, u a**hole!!!/.
Well I look like shit on many pics by many various photographers, but how comes, that on his pics even the nice people look bad? Evil spirits.
I remember one avatar on DA saying "I am like a chocolate pudding - I look like crap but I am sweet on the inside". Pity that I am not very sweet, I would use it somewhere.

Now to the pix.

Oooh that's just me being so very EMO. But I love the urban-tech backround.
What a change! Csabba looks happy. Or mad. Or seriously not okay.
Our two guitarists Adam and Adam doing some of their kid stuff at Motoráj last friday.
Bad hair day.
Fastrain - kinda good band we've been playing with, especially the bass was enjoyable /and the bassist, sweet Casablancas-ish face, but as usual, not available/

Yaaaay, the aeroclub - where Monika is about to kill me in a bloody and cool plane accident one day! We've been guarding it last night, with her and Albert.
And this is probably the place where the planes are flying and moving all other great waaays yaay I write like a reeetaaaard yaaay
Monika checkin out the handsome cosmo-guys during the history lesson.
Mája and Radka on the school grounds! See? Noone looks like an idiot on MY photos. What a surprise.
July w/ her Les Paul watching the exciting match. Well, wasn ot THAT exciting, but it was more or less the only thing to do there.

Born to be a columnist.

Decided to post my short czech essay /prostě fejeton pro Helenku/, which I've managed to do last night. It was cooking out of water /and I dunno if this can be used in english, but who cares. I do not/, but turned out kinda fine.

Nejisté investice

Nedávno jsem seděla doma s přítelem a najednou si všimnu, jak s opovržlivým výrazem sleduje mojí poličku nad piánem, kde schraňuji různé měsíčníky. Bylo mi hned jasné, že dostanu přednášku na téma „pokleslost a nesmyslnost plátků pro stádovité ženy“ – a nemýlila jsem se.

„Samé hadry! A přece nebudeš poslouchat rady nějakých ženských za zenitem, co si máš dávat přes noc na ksicht?“ začíná s obvyklým ohňostrojem znechucených poznámek, které přicházejí jako reakce na první stránky, tj. ty, které člověku předkládají přehlídku nejnovějších výrobků, aby jemně naznačily něco ve stylu „my na to máme, vy nikoliv“. V tom mi dojde, že bych mu ono periodikum měla dostat z rukou dříve, než dojde k mnohem nebezpečnějšímu druhu článků – o mužích. Nejsem však dostatečně rychlá.

„Po čem vám bude zobat z ruky?“ čte nahlas zděšeně, otáčí pár stran, „Co vyčtete z jeho zadku?!?“. To už musím zakročit, protože v očích se mu rozehrává něco, co hraničí s čirým šílenstvím, ruce se mu klepou a na čele mu raší studený pot. Malátně se zvedá a jaksi nepřítomně se omlouvá, že si najednou vzpomněl na jakousi veledůležitou schůzku (zcela zjevně na místě vymyšleného) ochotnického souboru.

O pár dní později už nejsme partnery a mně nezbývá, než vznést menší požadavek směrem k autorkám článků typu „Jak si udržet muže“ – zjevně by nebylo od věci do rohu stránky vložit černobílý rámeček, jako se tiskne na krabičky od cigaret, s nápisem „Zanechání tohoto časopisu v dosahu muže se neslučuje s pozitivním výsledkem zde uvedených postupů“.

I've realized this thing...

I almost perfectly evolved into a male, with all this overflowing libido and superficial need of shag and all the stuff around. I desperately need to get that girl I have been planning to get for such a long time, but I always got shy. She is so damn bloody perfect. I suck. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

The personal tragedy of miiine!

Oh noooes. I've lost my fucking buddy. Just in the time when I am in such desperate need of getting laid. Who's gonna be my Shagileo Gigolo NOW? Ooooooh I feel like a shakespearan character!

But on the other hand this helps me in my plans of getting the absolute power over the world.

Heh. Silliness rocks XD . My ego and good mood came for a visit once again, obviously.

Still not enough ego to rape a random emo guy on our tomorrow's gig, tooooo baaaad.


But at least some left-handed redhead got probably some physical fun tonight, so if I were a team player, I could be content. Kinda. ...! XD

There's no other way for me

than to rule the world. No other option. I have to become an evil ruler of everything.

I hate self-tans

When used on the wrong day of your cosmetic skill biorythm, you'll end up looking like a leper. But I believe that one day I will be so experienced in using this device of doom that noone will notice anything not really natural about my caribbean complexion. On that day I am gonna love myself.

Now - I just wanted to show you my three yaoi gods. Well. Not all of them are gay. But let's say two of them ARE.So, from the left: Noel, Bri and William, and all of them Richards'. So yeah, no incest here, some other characters are planned to intervene.

Noel - is the youngest, poetic, sensitive soul, introvert, loves reading and writing and likes to study, especially literature, history and philosophy. He used to play various instruments, pretty talented lad, but nowadays he does only flute and just to relax. Basically, people like him for his nature and sense of empathy, but he's not into socializing very much, so he keeps only few close friends, counting in his brothers. He was in love several times, but never had a real working relationship.

Brian - the middle brother. A perfect drama queen. His extremely extrovert character can be obnoxious sometimes, but generally he goes on very well with people, being able to cheer them up almost anytime. He needs to be in the centre of attention. He also draws and likes street art and design. His relationships are a lil bit superficial and he's aware of that, though he may not seem to care. Egomaniac with a good heart.

William - the eldest, but not the wisest everytime. He is very passionate inside, cannot stand injustice, holds grudges, does not trust people easily. In the search of meaning of his life, he tends to lose enthusiasm when disappointed by failure or bad luck. He is very strong and would never really give up though, he just has his blue moments pretty often. He's a maniac into music, especially indie rock, plays guitar on a high level, has a charismatic voice. When it comes to love, he takes it very seriously and is always honest and faithful towards his partner.

I'm pretty messed up.

I wonder if I am supposed to be such a psycho by myself or .. is it some tiny little side effect of the pills of hell?

Because basically I am feelin fine, it's just that at some certain points it's like a total lost of vital enthusiasm, which is in my case almost like the apocalypse. I desperately need a new impulse, new drive, new meanings. Because this is pretty unbearable. It's like being in doubt about everything. I need something, anything, that would restore my ego, that would make me proud of myself once again, but, well, maybe I want too much, how soon was Hiroshima a real, living city after the bombing?
And on the top of it all, I have to claim it's my fault and anyone else's, because certain people could start being pathetic again. And that's the last bloody thing I need now. I need to enjoy myself. And know that I am good. I don't need to know how bad are others. No fu*king way.

That's not me at all

-planning my birthday parties. But.. well... 18 is a whole lotta years! Of course the number has lost my respect, or at least big part of it as I used to have it in my younger days, but still - I think that if I met Julian Casablancas and told him "I am 17, shag me", it would have much smaller chances for succes than "I am 18 now, I was wondering if that prevents all remorses you could have after our theoretical sexual intercourse".

So, I am thinking of two places - Lehká hlava, a veggie restaurant, where I'd probably invite my friends from school, and I mean like really VIP folks, because the room that could be possibly reserved has space for cca 8 people. I would probably buy some nachos with guacamole and salsa there, so people who'd be invited would not have to order anything by themselves if they are sooo pooor just like me.
Second one is my favourite coctail bar Al Capone's, near the National theatre, pretty good prices and the drink list is just worth checking out. Cause that's one of our fav places w/ Soc, I hope she will come, too. When I am done with planning, I will make some invitations and be sure to come .) at least to one of the places! Just make your 18-19 weekend nights free .)

Back of my head is fu*king famous!

So shut up, all my disrespectful enemies! Bwahahaaaaa!! Oh hell yeah, that's my hair in front of Prkno, bassguitarist from one of my former bands. Or actually from two of my former bands.

Yep, this picture is to be found on indes.cz, from now on the best news server around. Yay. Thanks god they didn't post something with my face visible, I'd go kill myself.



Oh, and we played yesterday, the hardware sucked bad so I was screwing it all up pretty much, and also I am getting this awful habit - breaking drumsticks. What am I, a hard rock drummer? Geez. I had kinda melancholic mood, and... well.... yes... I was thinking of him. Thanksfully when I've got to read his most recent blogpost, I got so disgusted, that I seem to be ok again. Ohmygod, ohmygod. Life is fun.

Burn the Witch!!

Thanks god I am dyed to brown. Otherwise I bet that pack of /eeeeeeeeeeew!!/ metalists would burn me with no shame or pity. This way the only one reminding me of a medieval witch was probably Shippy, but I guess he's not obnoxious enough towards all these metalmongers to be burnt to death.

We continued at PrAndy's place, although it was a bit crowded for me, so I've hidden my shy self into PrAndy's sister's room, which is, thanks to the presence of all kinds of horse pictures, riding utils and such, kind of scary - with lights off it was a bit less horrifying.
i was followed by Adam and Karin and despite the fact I really did want to sleep, I was forced into night-long conversation about everything including London, Shippy and the "fucking buddies phenomenon".

Let's post Adam's pics: